How to catch a Fly

By: Hubert Crowell

The art of fly catching was just brought to the attention of the American public by Obama's show of force in the Oval Office when he killed a fly during a news interview.


I have had a note on my desk for several months about doing an article on how to catch a fly, but have put it off for being too trivial. But now with all the attention and concern over the killing of bugs, I believe that it is time everyone found out how to properly catch a fly.

I have been catching flies most of my life and releasing them back into the outdoors. Not because I care about the fly but because I don't care for the mess they cause when you smash them. Even a fly swatter leaves that bloody mark on the wall!

My dad used to catch flies and use the larva for fish bait. He would place two buckets in the woods, one with scraps of fish remains, tilted at a 45-degree angle and the other up right under the lip of the tilted bucket. As the maggots would get their fill they would climb up the edge of the bucket and drop into the waiting container. Dad would then collect the fish bait, bag them and place them in the freezer for future use. He fished for a living for a while on a lake in Florida, and baited the fish lines with soap, maggots and anything else catfish loved to eat.

While in the service, I learned the art of catching flies. At first I caught them the hard way, out on maneuvers in Germany while breathing hard, I ran through a swarm of flies and inhaled a large number of them. I was coughing up flies for a long time. And then there was all the stories about flies leaving larvae in peoples heads and causing sores, gross!

It is hard to believe the things that we become preoccupied with. I have always been impressed with the person who could nail a bug at ten feet with a knife or rubber band, but again there is always the mess to clean up or worse yet the hole in the wall to patch.

So Obama has the right ideal, but he needs to improve his technique in order to avoid upsetting Peta and getting blood on his hands.

What everyone needs to know about flies:

Flies always began their flight by taking off backwards. Knowing this fact makes it easy to catch or kill flies. Fly swatters should have this information printer on the instructions on how to use. If you approach the fly from the back and about two inches high, with your palm open then close your hand about one inch before reaching the fly, it will fly right into your fist every time. You may wonder if you have him, but don't be tempted to look until you are ready to release him.

I have impressed many with my art of catching flies and they never believe that you have actually caught it until you open your hand and it flies off.

To kill a fly, approach the fly with the swatter from the back and you will get him every time.

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